After a Long Silence

...yes, it's been a little while. 

In the time I've been away we've settled into a quiet cozy life on an island. We no longer eat out or consume sugar (more about that later). Both of us have new jobs and new schedules. We read as much as ever and are majorly 'feeling the burn'!!!! But all this is trumped (see what I did there?) by Bernard.

Bernard is the miniature human that Ryan and I made from scratch. He is four months old today and currently gnawing / slobbering on anything within reach. Right now the thing is a dark blue teething necklace...one of the many must have parenting items that I initially rejected in pursuit of minimalistic parenting but now embrace, but still refuse to wear (I draw the line somewhere). A chew toy turned fashion accessory that screams to me, I am a slave to my baby. Or, I have been knighted from above with this lei of baby domination. A symbolic chain, or rather collar of motherhood submission. "Yes, sire.", can be commonly heard in our house. Intrigued by BSDM submissive categories? Have a baby. 24 hour power play. You'd think being a physical giant compared to the little one would bring some balance but...no. Even the tiniest whimper and we trip over ourselves to comfort him. He giggles and we all but fall on our faces in full prostration. 

We've embraced this new way of life because in reality our tiny 'dom' is the George Clooney of babies. He is impeccable, charming, demanding, curious, and so handsome it seems he was drawn by cartoonists depicting cute baby number 1. Similar to the John Hamm phenomenon described by Liz Lemon in 30 Rock. "He looks like a cartoon pilot." - Liz, on new crush, Dr. Drew Baird. He has a talent for raising one eyebrow and mastered the Elvis half smile early on. Honestly, I'm a little nervous he might be toooo handsome, as we all know, pretty people are rarely funny. Funny is how us awkward, ugly, chubby kids learn to interact since we can't get by on looks alone. 

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I've decided that parents could greatly enhance their sex lives by dedicating as much time, money and energy into their toy closets as they do to soothing their babies. My son has: a rhythmic bouncing chair from Sweden, a vibrating rocking swing, various smooth and ribbed silicone toys (to be used hot or cold), only the best all natural cremes and oils, soft ambient lighting, a firm mattress and high quality sheets. 

You get the picture.

​For our two year wedding anniversary Ryan and I started The Couples Guide to the New Year by the lovely michele lisenbury christensen. We got to page 4 before it was laid to rest under the pile of "must read" baby books and instruction manuals for baby gear. C'est la vie. Life is so different with a baby (so little room for analyzing, details, methods or overthinking) and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Happy to announce that we've gotten back into the swing of podcasting and are looking forward to an exciting summer in paradise. Soon we will be teaching beginning Improv in hopes of finding others to play with! Join us! 

As of late I'm digging: 

This song for doing dishes too. 
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A book to encourage the removal of sugar from our diets. Because it's poison. 

But this article to remind me not to go crazy with a mindset of deprivation. 

And I watched every episode of Catastrophe in two days because it is as a Britt would say, fucking brilliant.